Commit to speaking at least one specific, character-based affirmation to your spouse each day. This is not, "you look nice," but "I saw the patience you showed with the kids today – that is the fruit of the Spirit in you." Name the Christlike quality you see.

Write your spouse an unprovoked handwritten note once a month. Reference something specific that God is growing in them. Keep it. Create a physical record of God's work in your marriage.

For one week each quarter, ban all criticism and complaints toward your spouse. Don’t just suppress the criticism for the month – be active in their replacement. Every time you notice a critical thought, convert it to a prayer for them or a spoken encouragement.

When you see genuine spiritual growth in your spouse – more patience, greater generosity, increased peace – say so clearly and celebrate it. "I have watched God change you in this area. I am so grateful to see Christ in you." Make growth visible and celebrated.