Practice Forgiveness & Reconciliation… Put to Death Self-righteousness & Unforgiveness
“We need to forgive and be forgiven every day, every hour increasingly. That is the great work of love among the fellowship of the weak that is the human family.”
– Charles Spurgeon
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When genuine repentance is offered, practice speaking forgiveness explicitly and aloud: "I forgive you." Don’t default to, "It's okay" (it may not be okay) or "Don't worry about it" – but a clear, deliberate expression of forgiveness. This begins to train the heart to follow the words.
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Agree together that you will not let the sun go down on unresolved anger (Ephesians 4:26). In practice, if a conflict arises too late or you are too emotional to resolve, agree to a specific time within 24-hours to return to it.
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On a monthly basis, ask yourself individually:
"Is there anything I have said I forgave but am still holding onto?"
Bitterness is unforgiveness that went underground. Naming it – to God and, if appropriate, to your spouse – begins to release it. -
Normalize meeting with a counselor, pastor, or mentor couple – not just during a crisis, but as a regular practice. Many reconciliation needs that have accumulated over the years could be addressed early on with a third-party perspective.